Considering Cats

More ‘pro-cat propaganda’ than documentary, this short experimental film—shot at the Long Island Pet Expo in 2023—seeks to answer the question: What is a cat?
So please, take a moment and consider the cat.

Shot on an Elmo 1012X-SL with Kodak 500T and Ektachrome 100D

WEBVTT
Kind: subtitles
Language: en

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What is a cat?

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A cat is a domestic species

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of BEUs.

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Um, we do have a couple of breeds

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that have borrowed a couple of genes from some non-domestic

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cats, but they've been domesticated

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for approximately 10,000 years.

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A little bit less time than dogs.

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And there are some, um, scientists

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who say they've never really been domesticated,

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that they are a, a feral, uh, species

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that just decides that we're pretty convenient to live with.

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Would like to see 3 0 1, 3 0 2 drinks, 3 0 1.

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Well, I'm 70 years old. I had a lot of cats. Oh God.

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I had Toby. I had Zo

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Ferrari. He's

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a no audio one.

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Nikki, I had Bella, um, Izzy Beacon

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Wood Piano Man, but

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because it's Piano man, we call him Billy

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Barnaby.

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Mama Selena.

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Their names are Antoinette, Penelope and

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Delilah Cookie. Um,

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Orville Wilbur.

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Um, and then Hemingway.

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Mischief and Matilda. My boys are Sam Louis

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And Stephan.

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Dwight Muffin, salty Lady Princess

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Buttons, uh, socks.

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Uh, prince

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Patches.

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Uh, I, I don't know. My memory's not that great. Hello.

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Thank.

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Well, I don't think they're just cute.

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I see the beauty in them. Oh, that looks so cute.

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Yeah, they're all cute, but are they show material?

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Are they gonna win the show?

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And they don't wanna hear somebody come here

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and go, oh, that looks so cute.

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That's cute. They don't even know what they're talking,

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they don't know the breeds.

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They don't know the standards.

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Every breed has a written standard

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that describes the perfect cat.

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In my mind, I'm comparing every point on that standard.

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And its numerical weight against the cat

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that I have on the table.

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And then allowing it to express its own unique salinity

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and make sure I get, I grasp that cat as a holistic being

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as well as a sum of its parts.

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It's is a process that takes a lifetime to perfect.

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It takes a decade to really go through the training that it,

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that you need to have to become a certified judge.

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But I have seen judges that have been behind the table

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for 40, 45 years

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and still are learning from the next

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cat that hits that table. Great.

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One is putting up numbers for an all great

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kitten final, all great kitten

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Final,

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Uh, troublesome, uh, curious.

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Um, he's actually one that has three legs now.

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He would get not only up on the kitchen counters,

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not only open up the kitchen cabinets,

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but he would grab the tea cups

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and coffee mugs off of the top shelf in there,

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pull them out just to see them drop. They're

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Inquisitive. They're

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just so inquisitive

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that they can't, they can't resist.

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Everything goes flying.

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They can't have anything glass in our house.

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We bought a bunch of cat toys from my one cat

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and he chooses to play with a toilet paper roll.

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You know, the wrapping on the toilet paper.

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That was his favorite toy

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Ready

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Cat food used to be 29 cents a can.

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Now it's a dollar a can. You know that right?

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I spend more on their food than I do on my own.

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My cats eat dry and wet and freeze dried.

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And that's not even trees. And they like baby food.

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And, you know, I spare no expense.

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And they always tell me what they want.

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'cause like if they want food, they look at me.

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They look at the fridge, look at me, look at the fridge.

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Second call. I

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Ring one for kitten.

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Seven, eight. And we're also looking for 60.

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Come superb cat to my amorous heart.

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Hold back the talents of your paws

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and let me gaze into your beautiful

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eyes of metal.

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And a

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when my fingers leisurely caress you,

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your head and your elastic back.

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And when my hand tingles with the

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Pleasure electric

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A feeling your electric body in spirit,

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I see my woman,

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her gaze, like your

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Own Amiable beast.

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Profound and cold cuts and cleaves like a dart.

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And from her head down to her feet, a subtle air,

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a dangerous perfume floats about

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her dusky body.

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Yeah. Ragdoll 1 14, 1 21 21,

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and 1 22 to ring two, please.

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I think that a lot of them know they look good.

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Cats. Cats I think are very manipulative

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and they know what they're doing most of the time.

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It is a, a self-assuredness

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that I think even humans may lack.

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So what I would like to let people know is that the

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feline genome is extremely close

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for the human genome.

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Cats share 97%

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of the same genome

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as a human in remarkably the same order of the gene.

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But wow, that 3% is pretty amazing.

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To remind everyone that supported the club

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by buying some raffle tickets earlier this morning,

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please make sure you put all your raffle picket in the box.

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Cats definitely have more than one.

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I don't know about nine of 'em,

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but they definitely have it more than one. Um,

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He had a bone tumor. Six

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Years later, he's doing just fine. My name is

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Stuck in the, the roof.

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Actually, we just had a cat up a tree

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who spent out two nights in a storm.

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I have a cat named guy. He's a sweet guy. Right?

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On election day about two years ago,

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he was laying practically dead in the hallway upstairs.

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He got into something he must have eaten

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or drank, um, cleaning fluid.

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And he got a little sick. And I took him to a vet's office.

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That's another thing. The vets are, they get you right away.

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They go, well, if you don't wanna spend the money,

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then we'll put the cat down immediately.

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So after $5,500

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that I spent on the cat, he's fine.

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Well, my one cat was actually stuck in the

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couch for about two weeks.

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My mom was at the hospital and nobody could get to the house

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'cause it was in a remote area.

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But he was alive. He was in me and he was in the couch.

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We were driving upstate.

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My daughter kept saying to my husband,

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daddy, don't open the window.

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Toby is in the car.

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Sure enough, the cat hit the, um, the button

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and jumped out the g*****n window at 50 miles an hour.

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My daughter was screaming, I'm freaking out.

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And then my husband stopped in the middle of the expressway,

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sees the cat run across the street.

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Nothing was wrong with him other than he was scared.

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Cats rule dogs definitely drooled.

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What is a cat? Um, well, it's a,

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A perfect little creature, I think.

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Well, you, I think they're just moody to me.

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They, they are my family.

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Very loyal and loving animals.

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Dominic, they're like, calm, cool.

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Like, look like they know what they want.

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He's like a stuffed animal.

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You can really do anything with him.

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Oh, they are their own beings.

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A cat will cat no matter what.

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Why All this fuss, I'm just

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a CAT.