Get Your Account Back: Roblox Appeals Boot Camp

#appealyourban
In this video, Ruben teaches you how to successfully get unbanned on ROBLOX.
SMACK THAT LIKE BUTTON, it helps my video get featured to more people.

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WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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ALRIGHT

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LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS.

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I AM DRILL INSTRUCTOR
RUBEN SIM

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AND IF I WERE TO MAKE A
LUCKY GUESS ON WHY YOU'RE

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WATCHING THIS VIDEO IT'S
BECAUSE YOUR

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SORRY ASS IS CURRENTLY
BANNED ON ROBLOX.

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IF I HAD ANYTHING LESS THAN
TWO NUTS HANGING BETWEEN

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MY LEGS I'D SAY SOMETHING
ALONG THE LINES OF

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"YOU BROKE THE RULES,
YOU GO TO THE PENALTY BOX."

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LUCKY FOR YOU, BOTH OF
MY TESTICLES

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ARE STILL IN MY POSSESSION

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AND I KNOW BETTER THAN ANY
OF YOU THAT ROBLOX MODERATORS

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ARE SOME OF THE MOST
UNREASONABLE,

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UNPREDICTABLE AND UNACCEPTABLE
FORM OF AUTHORITY

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ON THE INTERNET

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IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE
END OF THIS VIDEO

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YOU WILL BE A ROBLOX SUPPORT
WEAPON

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YOU WILL BE A MINISTER OF
MODERATION, PRAYING FOR BANS.

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BUT UNTIL THEN YOU ARE
PUKES!

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YOU ARE THE LOWEST FORM
OF LIFE ON ROBLOX

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YOU'RE NOT EVEN A MEMBER
OF THE FUCKING SITE ANYMORE.

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YOUR MISSION IS TO GET UNBANNED,

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AND TO ROBLOX CUSTOMER SERVICE
YOU ARE NOTHING BUT

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ANOTHER WHINY FUCKING BRAT
WHO ASKED FOR

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A SECOND HOLOCAUSE AND
GOT A REASONABLE SENTENCE

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FOR DOING SO.

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I WILL TEACH YOU THE BATTLEFIELD
THAT IS THE ROBLOX APPEAL PROCESS,

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AND THE FIRST STEP TO UNDERSTANDING ANY BATTLEFIELD

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IS UNDERSTANDING YOUR ENEMY

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ROBLOX CUSTOMER SUPPORT AGENTS ARE SOME OF THE MOST COLD HEARTED

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LAZY BUREAUCRATIC PILES OF SHIT ON WHATEVER FACE OF THE FUCKING PLANET

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THEY'RE OUTSOURCED FROM.

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DO YOU THINK THEY GIVE TWO SHITS OVER THREE FUCKS IF YOU'RE SORRY FOR WHAT YOU DID?

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IF A MODERATOR PERSONALLY CAME TO YOUR HOUSE

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AND FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS, THEIR FIRST QUESTION WOULD BE

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"WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG"

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THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE CUSTOMER SUPPORT AGENT IS THAT

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THEY DO NOT CARE. THEY DO NOT SYMPATHIZE.

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THEY COULD WATCH A CITY'S WORTH OF CHILDREN'S ACCOUNTS TURN TO ASH IN THE BLINK

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OF AN EYE, AND YOU WOULD NOT HEAR SO MUCH AS A GOD DAMN SNIFFLE FROM THEM

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IF YOU ARE TO APPEAL SUCCESSFULLY, YOU ARE TO ABANDON ANY IDEA THAT THE

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PERSON ON THE OTHER END OF YOUR EMAIL HAS ANY OUNCE OF RESPECT FOR YOU,

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OR THE PATHETIC ROLEPLAYING SURROGATE YOU CALL YOUR ACCOUNT

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ONCE YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK FUCKING SKULL, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON TO STRATEGY.

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ROBLOX MODERATORS ARE SOMEWHAT HUMAN. THEY MAKE MISTAKES.

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THE MACHINE THAT READS AND PROCESSES YOUR APPEAL UNDERSTANDS THIS,

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AND FROM MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, 90% OF SUCCESSFUL APPEALS ARE THE

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RESULT OF A PERCEIVED MODERATOR ERROR.

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WHAT MODERATOR ERROR DOES NOT MEAN IS A MODERATOR

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ACCIDENTALLY TABBED OUT OF PORNHUB WHILE WORKING AND MISCLICKED THE BAN BUTTON

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NEXT TO YOUR USERNAME.

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WHAT MODERATOR ERROR CAN MEAN, IS YOUR POST OR MESSAGE WAS TAKEN OUT OF

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A BROADER CONTEXT, WHICH WOULD MAKE IT LESS VILE AND DISGUSTING THAN IT APPEARS.

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LET'S SAY FOR EXAMPLE I GET BANNED FOR POSTING ON THE FORUMS:

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"I'M GONNA SHOOT EVERYTHING THAT MOVES"

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CLEARLY THIS IS GROUNDS FOR MY ACCOUNT BEING DELETED, BECAUSE AT FIRST GLANCE THIS POST

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APPEARS TO BE THREATENING MASS MURDER.

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HOWEVER, IT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE THAT THIS POST COULD HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE CONTEXT

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OF PHOTOGRAPHY.

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I COULD APPEAL THIS BAN AND CLAIM THAT I HAD POSTED A THREAD ABOUT LANDING A JOB

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AS A PROFESSIONAL SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHER,
AND THAT MY PLAN FOR MY FIRST GIG

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WOULD BE TO SHOOT PHOTOS OF EVERYTHING THAT MOVES.

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THIS WOULD LIKELY GET MY ACCOUNT UNBANNED REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THIS

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WAS THE ACTUAL CONTEXT OF THE BAN.

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THE TRUTH IS, CUSTOMER SUPPORT AGENTS DO NOT HAVE THE TIME OR PATIENCE TO REVIEW

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THE CONTEXT OF EVERY APPEAL.

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AND IF YOUR CASE IS GOOD ENOUGH, THEY'LL PROBABLY HAVE YOU UNBANNED

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WITHOUT EVEN FACT CHECKING A SINGLE FUCKING DETAIL.

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SO IF YOU WANNA PLAY BY THE BOOKS, YOUR BEST CHANCES OF SURVIVAL ARE TO USE THE ARGUMENT

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OF CONTEXT, EVEN IF THAT MEANS LYING ABOUT IT.

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THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN GETTING YOUR APPEAL ACCEPTED IS LENGTH.

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PRETEND I'M A CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE.

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YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK OF WHEN I SEE THIS APPEAL?

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DENY!

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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT A SOB STORY.

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I HAVE PLACES TO BE, I HAVE THINGS TO DO,

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I HAVE PORN AT HOME WAITING TO BE MASTURBATED TO.

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I DON'T NEED TO MAKE MY FUCKING EYES BLOODSHOT STARING AT YOUR

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TWELVE PARAGRAPH LONG CRY FOR HELP.

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I HARDLY HAVE THE READING COMPREHENSION TO FINISH A FUCKING SENTENCE!

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IF YOUR APPEAL IS TOO LONG, IT WILL BE REJECTED.

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YOUR APPEAL SHOULD NEVER BE MORE THAN THREE LINES LONG.

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EVEN IF YOUR GREAT WALL OF TEXT IS READ AND COMPREHENDED BY AN AGENT,

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THEY WILL HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS FOR MAKING THEM READ IT.

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THEY WILL WANT YOU TO STAY BANNED. NOT BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU WERE WRONG

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BUT BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU DESERVER IT.

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BY SHORTENING THE APPEAL YOU MAKE THE AGENT LIKE YOU MORE AND GREATLY

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INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING UNBANNED.

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THE THIRD AND FINAL PROPERTY OF THIS MIGHTY BATTLE FOR YOUR ACCOUNT

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IS ATTITUDE

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REMEMBER WHAT I JUST SAID ABOUT AGENTS LIKING YOU?

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IF YOU TYPE OUT YOUR MESSAGE LIKE SOME BRATTY SHITBAG WHO'S SO

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MOLLYCODDLED YOU'RE STILL BREASTFEEDING, YOU'LL MOST CERTAINLY GET YOUR APPEAL DENIED.

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BE RESPECTFUL. BE POLITE. SUCK UP TO THE ALL MIGHTY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

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EMAIL BOT YOU'RE UP AGAINST.

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IF THE AGENT THAT GETS YOUR APPEAL SENSES YOU HAVE A STICK UP YOUR ASS...

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DENY!

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THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IN TERMS OF ATTITUDE IS TO TYPE YOUR EMAIL WITH NO EMOTION.

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YOU MUST SHOW NO FEAR. NO JOY. NO DETERMINATION.

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AND GOD DAMMIT IF YOU TRY TO BE A SMARTASS YOU WILL BE DISREGARDED HARDER THAN

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US SENATORS DISREGARD THE GRIEVING FAMILIES OF SOLDIERS KILLED IN ACTION

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ROBLOX IS A BUREAUCRACY, ONLY LACKING POLICY WHERE IT HURTS THE COMMUNITY THE MOST.

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THE ONLY WAY TO STAY ALIVE IN SUCH A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT IS TO USE

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YOUR OVERSEERS LAZINESS AND INCOMPETENCE AGAINST THEM.

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HOPEFULLY YOU'VE LEARNED SOMETHING, PRIVATE.

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NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT AND START WORKING ON GETTING YOUR ACCOUNT BACK,

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MAGGOT!

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give me your fuckin MONEY